I’m a very self-aware individual, I have a strong sense of self and I notice this in every new interaction. This has been a result of a re-calibration of sorts or Metamorphosis that has been occurring from the time I was 21.
2007 was the lowest point of my life. I was 21 and was basically laying the foundation of my life but I found myself disenchanted. I was basically starring through the social mirror and I didn’t like who I was and how I was living. It was a painful period characterised by emotional vertigo. I was still reeling from the loss of my Mother; I was struggling to keep my grades up for the first time in a long while. Couldn’t keep a steady relationship and my game was basically nonexistent. I had been taken advantage of once or twice and I felt disheartened by all this. In between the excessive highs from partying and drinking was this dark cloud of gloom and helplessness that hung over me. I felt I was just a passenger in my own life .I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror with great satisfaction.
Historically from as long as I can remember I have always been resourceful during struggle times. I have the uncanny ability to pick myself up and plug away till I find a solution. In primary school when I was demoted to a lower class I worked my way up to have the best results in the stream winning prizes along the way. When mathematics was lowering my grades in high school i prompted my Mother to speak to my Math teacher and I eventually received more attention and became an A student. I was horrible at Shona but I hustled to the finish line and scratched an unlikely B after a horrendous track record.
Here i was in treacherous waters and I wasn’t about to give in. I searched deep, even went to a doctor who suggested therapy which I declined then he put me on light anti-depressants. I was 21 on anti-depressants and I wasn’t gonna go out like that.
So I searched deep and embarked on a course of recalibration .Luckily I stumbled upon a great book, The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey, probably the greatest book I have ever read. I picked up the habit of reading from my Mom and it has always served me well. I do not speculate, I always read and search for logical solutions to problems.
What i found is how I felt about myself and my life is basically how most of the world is. Most people don’t know or understand what they want out of life; they are stuck in relationships and careers that they do not necessarily want. It’s almost an epidemic.
Over the years I have grown a lot. I know myself in and out. I know what I want.I’ve worked to get more clarity about my past and present and to unify my outside shell and soul, but it’s
Ongoing. I take responsibility for every decision I make. I have no regrets at all. I’m far from perfect but I know for sure I am a product of who I want to be and I am genuinely happy.
I’m not afraid of rejection. I am not afraid of living. Of course I make epic mistakes from time to time like the last business investment I made that left me in red but these mistakes are mine and mine alone. Every year I get wiser and smarter and there is no decay at all. I cannot even recognise myself from 6 months ago. I can’t even date the person I liked 6 months ago.
It isn’t that life is very short but it’s that a life is easy to waste. There are millions of people with wasting unproductive lives and the tragedy is this can be solved with the right motivation. I see a lot of people hurt and running around aimlessly and can truly empathise with them. My advice to anyone who wants to live a full and happy life is that do not follow any formula or standard. Live the life you want not the one other people want for you.
Don’t settle for less and be prepared to walk away from anything or anyone that doesn’t fulfill you. You were born alone, you consciously choose to involve people in your life, they pay rent so don’t give them the title deeds to your life or allow people to walk all over you. Everyone has their own specific vocation in life.Therein they cannot be replaced, nor can their life be repeated.
Most people follow the standard way and wonder why life becomes a drag. Freed from the shackles, we get the chance to actually have a life. The biggest obstacle to true success is when we do not become who we are. We try to be someone else or be what people ‘want’ us to be, discarding our passion in life and doing something else because that is ‘proper.’
“There are two universal attributes for any very successful person. One, they work very hard at what they do. Two, they LOVE what they do so it doesn’t seem like work. Find a passion in your life and embrace it with everything you’ve got. You only have one life and only so much time. “
Anyone is free to seize life and make it what they want it to be. This is hard because it involves change. Routines are easy. Habits are easy. Sitting there and blaming someone else for your life is easy.
Life can be whatever we want it to be. But if we sit around and think we have no control over it (due to government, family, church etc.), we are creating our own destiny of despair. Who’s to say you have to go through suffering seven days of the week? With all that is out there to experience and enjoy, who’s to say that your life has to be ‘hard’ or serious?
The problem with most people is they hope a lot and gamble their futures by putting it all in the hands of fate. They put faith in a prophet to make them wealthy, give them a great husband or a car and a job. It’s really amazing to see how smart intelligent people gamble with their futures .The reality is the truly successful people put in work and lay the proper foundations. As human beings, we are responsible for our own lives. If we think our lives are a function of our conditions, it is because we have, by conscious decision or by default, chosen to empower those things to have control over us – we have let ourselves become reactive. Reactive people are often affected by the weather; proactive people carry their own weather with them.
Being proactive means recognizing our responsibility to make things happen. The people who end up with the good jobs are those who seize the initiative to do whatever is necessary, consistent with correct principles, to get the job done.
Define how life is going to be enjoyed and lived and set the rules for it. Do not let your life be defined by your Mom, your Dad, your sister, your brother, your church, your grandparents, your government, your girlfriend, but only by YOU.
The double edge is that if something doesn’t go right, you can blame only yourself. But isn’t it worthwhile to live YOUR mistakes rather than live other people’s mistakes? If you give up those rules to someone else, then YOU are to blame if your life is not where you want it to be”
“We have been told all our lives that people who do well in life are ‘lucky.’ “They came from the right family.” “They are different.” “They had it handed to them.”
When you see someone happy, don’t go, “Oh, I wish I were like them. They must come from the right part of town and all to be happy.” That isn’t how happiness works. And the odds are that those that are ‘happy’ are usually covering up their own misery.
Life is to be lived. Life is meant to be grabbed on to. When you do this, you no longer worry about what other people think of you. And if you DO worry about what other people think of you, then you are imprisoned by it.
I am about to embark on a new business adventure in a foreign country. It’s scary and exciting at the same time. It’s going to be the greatest challenge of my life up to this point. I may succeed, I may fail but it will be on my own terms.
I would have preferred staying in Zimbabwe but the reality is the prevailing economic environment is bad for any business to thrive. I am not prepared to sit around and complain about poor government policies like everyone else because my time belongs to me and me alone.
I will plant seeds of success elsewhere and return when things improve but I will definitely avoid wasting my time in a lose – lose environment.
The conscious decision I made to re-calibrate myself years ago has become the cornerstone of who I am and who I’ll become. I’ll definitely get rich or die trying. Regrets aren’t for winners.
The world is yours!!